September's Halloween

Halloween came early in the autumn of 2000. It arrived late in the afternoon on September 19th, as a cold rain fell from a gloomy sky. Patient charts were piled high as I sat at my desk in the family practice clinic where I worked as a registered nurse.

This Halloween was different. No joyous anticipation of fun with family and friends. No sweet treats, free for the asking. No delight in dressing up for the world of Let's Pretend. Instead, an electrifying sense of impending doom hovered over me. Life was forever changed in the moment as I read the biopsy report my physician had gently set down in front of me. "Infiltrating ductal carcinoma, high-grade solid type." How could the bold-type name at the top of the report possibly be my own?

The trip through the Haunted Forest of breast cancer treatment was a journey I never expected to take. It was filled with surgical darkness, chemical fog, the eeriness of radiation, and perpetual anxiety. But finally, after approximately 18,000 miles, 77 yards of gauze bandages, 90 cups of hot chocolate, fifteen months in a clinical trial, countless prayers, and kettles full of love, I emerged from the woods, profoundly grateful for the gift of life, and for each new day.

The healing that began seven years ago continues. Living daily with the uncertainty of the future is like being awakened by a creaking door at midnight-you don't know what may be lurking in the darkness! But for me, my fears are set aside whenever I reach out to make a positive difference for someone else whose life has been altered by breast cancer.

The opportunities for service are limitless. It has been a tremendous joy to work with other breast cancer survivors/thrivers/strivers and friends in networking to advocate for an improved quality of life for women of all ages. To assist with the advocacy work of Iowa Breast Cancer Edu-action; to promote clinical trial participation; to share hope (one of my favorite words!) through the "Reach to Recovery" and "Relay For Life" programs; to enhance community education; and to encourage the work of area support groups-these activities are marvelous treats (no trick!) that have added incredible sweetness to my life.

So as we cope with the uncertainty of life, and hope for cures to eradicate the breast cancer 'monster,' remember to eat dessert first! May you savor every chocolate moment!